


Good Night and Good Morning

by alvisable



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, i don't know what to do with neo, i made up the mythical gods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2019-10-05 10:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17323250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alvisable/pseuds/alvisable
Summary: Being a demigod, Hongbin’s presence is not approved by his step mother, Voxara. He could literally live as normally as any other human beings, but he got one condition: he shouldn’t fall in love, especially with mortals. If that as much happens, he’d be reincarnated and causing his partner to forget what had already happened. Hongbin, of course, has been careful during his entire life—until he meets Jaehwan.





	1. [1] reincarnation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! This is my first English fanfic; and I've posted this on Wattpad. I decided to post this on AO3 too because why not. (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)
> 
> I got inspirations from so many things, but I decided to make up my own mythical gods. I'm also a bit inspired by Lauren Kate's Fallen, in which the girl is reincarnated from time to time through a historical chrolonogy; but I'll just make Hongbin in the same time and space during his reincarnation. (The reason will also be different, and I hope it makes enough sense.) Also, English is not my first language, and I might not be accurate in describing the members' characteristics. So feel free to give me suggestions! ♥♥♥
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! ^^

 

_"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come._

_We have only today. Let us begin."_

**\--Mother Teresa**

 

 

Hongbin stares at the window as the rattling sound of the raindrops patter lightly against it. He taps the surface gently, cold sensation immediately coursing through his skin. Hongbin takes a deep breath, looking at the rain outside before turning his back. He walks away as the thunder cracks the night, alerting and frightening.

He sits in one of the sofa Hakyeon has provided. Trying to calm himself more, he holds his breath for a moment, and then slowly letting it go as his focus shifts to one thing only: his life. His sanity. And, particularly, his time expand to remember all of this.

All the things that have happened for the past two months flash in the back of his mind. He can still live in each of them, vividly. Hongbin remembers all the late night conversations he’d done with that person, them exchanging their oversized sweaters, their loud laughters everytime Hongbin wasn’t able to convey an understandable joke, and also, their overflowing emotions each time Hongbin’s skin accidentally brushed against his. Even if it only lasted for one second.

“Hongbin-ah.” Hakyeon’s voice disrupts Hongbin’s thoughts—which honestly brings him something more than just relief. The older guy places a cup in front of Hongbin before continuing, “I make a hot chocolate for you. You shouldn’t let yourself in cold.”

Hongbin just smiles and mutters a hushed thank you. He then sips his chocolate little by little, aware that Hakyeon is watching him, and he finally meets his gaze to let the older know that he notices. “Hyung, how many times have I been...” Saying the word feels stifling for him. As if his voice and his speaking ability are being blocked by this invisible, murky power. “How many time... have I been... reincarnated?” He finally mentions it, his voice feels shaken and unsure. His heart suddenly beats rapidly, but he acts as if he’s fine and this fact itself doesn’t affect him as much as many people expect.

Hakyeon’s expression falters. His eyes full of concern. He looks hesitant before giving the answer, “You certainly don’t want to know...”

“I _do_ want to know,” Hongbin insists, placing the cup back on the table while demanding Hakyeon to say the truth. He sits straighter, ready to hear.

But, what he gets next is something so unexpected.

Hakyeon only answers “You’re not ready” before leaving Hongbin alone again, slumped in the cold, silent living room.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaehwan’s at it again. He feels like he’s been sitting in his class for hours, as if reality has enjoyed its time to elongate his sense of grounding. He’s not drowsy, strangely. He’s wide awake and well aware of what his professor is saying in front of class. It is this kind of time when he can concentrate to the fullest, as if his brain is that good at memorizing gazillion theories.

What he can’t understand is that, it’s only three periods of lecture before the lunch break. His professor is asking his classmates before calling it a day, drawing conclusion, when Jaehwan can recognize things again. His mind suddenly goes incredibly hazy, distorted. This sense of familiarity tells him that things might’ve gone wrong, but he still manages to follow the discussion until the class ends.

Confused, he picks up his phone, looking at the date—26th of September. He frowns,  trying to recall anything related to this day, this date, this exact time; but he gets nothing. He’s just about to put back his phone when a message pops up in the notification. It’s from Taekwoon.

_It’s this day again, Jaehwanie._

Jaehwan’s eyebrows furrow even deeper. _What day?_ he texts back, getting a fast response while he searches a space to sit on.

_Our department’s showcase. I’ll get to perform my song in which the lyrics you wrote. You don’t forget the schedule, do you?_

_Of course not_ , Jaehwan replies, a bit reluctant but chooses to shrug it off. Creating lyrics with Taekwoon is a regular habit for him. Maybe his college and his life in general gets in the way, resulting in him forgetting things. It’s normal, he supposes.

But his hands slightly shiver and he can’t deny there was—or _is_ —something missing.

 

* * *

 

 

The inexplicable exhaustion doesn’t wear off when Jaehwan reaches his dorm. He changes his clothes while his mind wandering farther and farther away, his stare vacant but his movement is fluid. He shakes his head as he can’t seem to bring himself to remember. Jaehwan thinks if he doesn’t have the ability to recall the moments, then that might not be important and he should just let it go.

He quickly goes to the hall they use for the entire evening, sliding between people who gather in front of the double doors. Rows of seats have been adjusted in the ninety percent of the room, several committees passing by around the edge, making sure every single thing is intact. From where he stands, Jaehwan can see their department banner showing their showcase name. It’s hung on the wall, some musical instruments stand in front of it. The stage is ready to stun the audience.

“Ready to see me perform?” Taekwoon taps Jaehwan’s shoulder, enough to make the younger startled and pouts for surprising him. Taekwoon just chuckles and continues, “You’re not tired or bored or trying to turn me down, aren’t you?”

“Nope.” Right after answering shortly, Jaehwan’s gaze is set on a group of people who stand near the stage, chatting to each other. It seems like Taekwoon says something, but he doesn’t notice it and instead, he asks, “Do you know them?”

Taekwoon, ignoring the fact that he’s been ignored, follows Jaehwan’s fixed stare. “You mean Jiyeon? She’s a regular visitor of our showcase, inviting a lot of her friends to come here too. She’s like bringing fortune to our show, you know. Like our committees’ effort are meant to be lucky all the time.”

“Hm, is that so?” Jaehwan still muses that group for some seconds longer. “How about the others? You already mention one with that impeccable detail; I guess you also know the rest of her friends.”

Taekwoon can’t help but smirk after hearing the statement. He rolls his eyes, amused, wondering what Jaehwan now has in mind. “Riiight, you’re now fixated on someone. Which one exactly, I might ask?”

Jaehwan pouts again, slightly blushing. “No one in particular.” His voice is intended to be firm, but it comes out as a weak mutter. He suddenly stays still when one person from the said group meets his eyes.

It’s just a short, easy-to-forget gaze, but it’s enough to make Jaehwan blushes even harder. And in all those timing, Taekwoon’s smile grows wider and wider.

“I know now,” Taekwoon says, patting Jaehwan’s shoulder to distract him a bit.

“Kn-know what?”

Taekwoon only smiles, but Jaehwan knows it has a lot of underlying meanings. “I’ll have to prepare myself first, you go check your _someone special_ before this place is packed.” He turns his back while waving to Jaehwan, unclear whether it’s a supporting gesture or just the usual, teasing Taekwoon.

 

* * *

 

 

Hongbin gasps when a searing sensation radiates through the core of his heart, crashing him inside and out without any warning. His head spinning when he tries to blink, and right when he’s about to collapse, someone is holding his hand tight.

He looks to his right and finds Hakyeon with his concerned eyes.

“You okay?” the older guy asks, letting go of his hand slowly but still ready to catch Hongbin again. Just in case.

“I’m alright. Thanks.” Hongbin stands straight, shaking his head a bit to better his bangs look. He can’t resist the urge to fix the position of his bangs just a little more when Hakyeon continues talking.

“You should’ve stayed at home, taking more rest. I just can’t bring Wonshik to trust me enough,” Hakyeon takes a deep breath, then releases it harshly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Hongbin smiles, reassuring his hyung. “You’ve helped me a lot, and besides, it’s nice to see Jiyeon again.” His eyes follow Jiyeon who now leads Hyuk to the backstage, Wonshik trails behind them.

If there’s anything he can remember vividly, it’s obviously this time. He comes to some random showcase held by mortals, all because Hyuk—the God of Music and Abstraction himself—feels the need to attend such beautiful performance. It’s held each year, and he certainly can’t miss any of it.

Wonshik wants to come over, obviously, same old same old. And he can’t just leave Hongbin with Hakyeon alone. Wonshik believes that Hakyeon will always be on Hongbin and his dad’s side, and only God of the Underworld knows what that Hakyeon minx could do.

Even now, Hongbin can feel Wonshik’s stare at them every now and then. Since the curse had been casted on Hongbin, he’s kinda used to it. But in a situation when Hongbin cannot even remember the person he’s been falling in love with, this excessive regulation is certainly, deeply unnecessary.

“Wonshik is the one who should be sorry,” Hongbin retorts, regretting his words after the said man looks at his direction again, “with all due respect.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a thing that he’s also capable of hearing someone’s talking from a far distance,” Hakyeon adds, not bothering lowering his voice. “Definitely a good weapon your mother has chosen.”

“A step mother,” Hongbin bites his lip, “but yeah, the point is the same, nonetheless.”

A thoughtful silence follows after that, both deep in their own mind. Hongbin opens his mouth, ready to say something, right when the MC comes to the stage to welcome everyone.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, how’s your progress? Have you talked to him?”

Jaehwan startles for the second time this day and he swears slightly when Taekwoon appears from behind. “Jeez, you can’t be more startling.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“Why, you jealous?”

“Not even in your wildest dream, Jaehwan.” Taekwoon hits the younger’s shoulder playfully before demanding, “So?”

Jaehwan sighs heavily. “I haven’t. Satisfied?”

“You _haven’t_? That’s all? Not even a slightest, impeccable detail?” Taekwoon wants to tease more, but he thinks it’s best to hear Jaehwan first now.

“He’s with another guy all the time, and they look _so_ close. What do you expect, huh? Me interrupting them, appearing in between them and acting all happy?”

“Honestly, yeah?” Taekwoon places a hand on his chin, his other elbow rests on Jaehwan’s shoulder. “You seriously think too much, you know that? Just go and talk.”

Jaehwan wants to say something, but then he holds back. There’s something strange that lurks deep down in his gut that he can’t just tell anyone. Not even Taekwoon. People might think he’s crazy, what with the irresistible attraction he feels toward that particular guy. He’s so ready to run and hug him in relief for making it here, for getting back to him, but it’s definitely weird and crazy, right? He barely even knows him.

“You know what, if you plan something, just make sure you keep it PG.” Taekwoon nudges Jaehwan, playing his eyebrows but also noticing that this is the myriad times he zones out again. “You know you can tell me anything, Jae, even the craziest stuff you can think of. I hate you being this confused and lost.”

Jaehwan almost says _I already am_ , but he stops himself (because, again, it’s too weird that he feels familiar with this situation), so he just says “alright” without even elaborating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Twitter @alvis_lucetta ^3^


	2. [2] recherché

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan wants to get a little closer with Hongbin; he just needs an extra push.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still struggling with the next chapters, but I decided to give the second chapter a try and finally post it here. UwU
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it!

 

_"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why."_

**\--Kurt Vonnegut**

 

 

“Is this why you’re back?” Taekwoon approaches a man who looks at one painting being presented in the hall. He has a dark hair with some stripes of dark green illuminated by the lights. The man looks like he’s about his age, not taller than him, not even bothering to look away from the painting in front of him.

He doesn’t seem bothered by Taekwoon’s presence, so he casually says, “I’ve noticed you also have an eye at Nione.” He steals a glance to look at the man’s reaction, but he doesn’t budge. “As a God of Change and Plant Growth himself, he’s always been my favorite, especially if he’s looking serene with his favorite greenery like that.”

The man’s eyes keep getting fixated on the said figure in the painting. Taekwoon cannot read his expression, but he wonders what kind of response he might give if Taekwoon keeps talking. There are other gods and goddesses too, and he sure could use some showing off. However, the man beside him might be irritated, though certainly will still be composed and acting incredibly cool.

“For a split second...” Taekwoon tilts his head, one hand on his chin, “I feel like you have the same ambience like him.”

“How so?” The man finally looks at Taekwoon, challenging his eyes sternly. “You also learn mythical gods that much, huh? You wanna show your knowledge off?”

Taekwoon is abashed, but soon he regains his own composure. “Probably.” He shrugs. “I guess it’s just nice to talk about the greenery that Nione is holding. It’s called Wineberry, and he only held the green parts. It’s still small, and no berry is visible. But in an instance, Nione can—”

“Okay, enough talking. Who’s painted this?” The man looks even colder now, one hand on his hip and eyes even more challenging than before. Somehow, Taekwoon knows this is no time to joke around but he doesn’t want to play along either.

Regardless, Taekwoon manages to say, “One of my ancestors did,” and he has to suppress a smile when the man in front of him suddenly looks alarmed. His eyes widen, as if he cannot blink anymore. His rigid, tense posture slightly diminished. He now looks more like the serene figure in the painting, but of course Taekwoon wouldn’t mention it.

“How? When?” The man’s eyes narrow, his voice somewhat demanding.

“It was painted centuries ago, before this university developed, and they managed to secure it in the university museum. I guess my family agreed to put it here, too. We rent it for this showcase only.” Taekwoon shrugs lightly, an eager smile plastered on his face. “No wonder if it captures everyone’s attention. The painter was really great at taking in moments. Vividly.”

At this point, Taekwoon realizes that the more he talks, the more irritated his interlocutor is. He lets the silence fills in the gap for a while until he sees the person he’s been looking for. He then calls, “Jiyeon-ah!” The friendly tone in it makes the man turn his head in disbelief, Jiyeon approaching them with a wide smile plastered on her face.

“Taekwoon-ssi,” she replies in a solemn way, and then looks at the other individual she’s neglected for a split second, “Hakyeon-ah. It’s really rare to see you with other people, huh?”

The man named Hakyeon is ready to snap back, but he gets cut again by Jiyeon.

“Anyway, am I invited again for tonight’s celebration dinner?” Jiyeon’s always enthusiastic toward all of the department’s business. Her pouty, moon-eyed look glitters slightly—Taekwoon feels a bit bewildered. He just nods in agreement, and gets a loud “yeay!” in return from Jiyeon.

“You can invite your friends too,” Taekwoon adds, carefully looks at Hakyeon, knowing that Jiyeon notices this. “Don’t worry about the bills, it’s all on me.”

“Or we can always chip in,” Jiyeon adds, eyebrows wiggling while she stares at Hakyeon, full with anticipation. Knowing that she wouldn’t get the response she wants, she turns back to Taekwoon and says, “I’ll bring more people and I’ll make sure we won’t owe you.”

“Very well, then. See you later.” Taekwoon waves goodbye, nodding politely to Hakyeon, not bothering the fact that the man scoffs to him as a reply, only to be shoved strongly by Jiyeon.

Taekwoon’s also sure Jiyeon has known their usual place for having a group dinner. Now, he just has to push Jaehwan’s confidence more.

 

●×●

 

Before Hongbin could utter any protest, Hakyeon has hauled him with the artists’ squad. His own group, however, is a mix of expression. Hakyeon has his disapproval plastered on his face, Jiyeon with her brightest smile talking and following the discussion in the group, Sanghyuk countlessly hums the pop songs being performed not long ago, and Wonshik with his lazy eyes paying attention to nothing in particular.

Hongbin glares slightly at Taekwoon, who listens to Jiyeon’s chatter while nudging the younger guy beside him to get him to talk. The guy seems unfazed, though it’s clear from his look that his mind has been retreating somewhere.

Hongbin doesn’t want to stare too long, obviously, so he focuses his mind to Hakyeon again. He scoots closer to the older guy, but no one could stop him whenever he’s not in the mood. “Hyung,” he asks, in a low low whisper, “what happened?”

Hakyeon refuses to look at him that Hongbin’s sure he wouldn’t get any answer until the next few decades, but to his surprise, the slightly annoyed man replies, “It’s nothing, Binnie. I just... don’t expect that our schedule is _expanded_.” He says the last word while looking at Jiyeon, sternly and firmly.

“Oh, you wanna come home? Is there something you need to look after?” Hongbin knows that even though Hakyeon, Wonshik, and Sanghyuk are immortals, they can’t just spend too much time with humans. It’s just their nature to go down to earth and live beyond the radar; unless they’re the type of immortal like Jiyeon. She doesn’t bother being around people since she’s the Goddess of Fortune and Inspiration, and her act is much more predictable, pretty much because she likes seeing people succeed in doing their good deeds.

“No.” Hakyeon grits his teeth, clearly more annoyed than before.

Hongbin, assuming he’s made even further catastrophe, decides to stay quiet and follow the group into a restaurant. It feels warm when he’s already inside, clustered with a lot more people before going to their reserved table. It’s the busiest hour of the place, with customers lining on the counter and giving orders, waiters and waitresses passing by to deliver the orders or clean some used tables, the sizzle of burgers and fries being cooked, parents reprimanding their unbelievably loud children, or just people chattering amiably with each other.

Soft music plays delicately from the speakers, though it kinda disrupts Hongbin’s thought again when he feels someone nudges him playfully in his upper arm. He looks up and finds Jiyeon pouts while asking, “You’re being too impolite, Hongbin-ah. Jaehwan has asked what you wanna order _three_ times.”

At the mention of the name, Hongbin frantically searches for the person. He has stood up and smiles cutely despite his lack of (somehow) rude attention. Hongbin immediately says, “Sorry, it’s just...”

“You’re taking too long, just accompany him already.” Jiyeon manages to pull Hongbin’s arm strongly enough that he gets back up and stares directly at Jaehwan for God knows how many times this day.

Hongbin gulps, heart skips a beat. He sees Jaehwan turns his back without saying anything, so he trails behind and catches up in an instant. He can’t help but thinking that he might cause another human being annoyed again. And if there’s an addition after this, Hongbin definitely deserves to get an award.

“So... Hongbin, right?” Jaehwan says after stopping behind a customer. “I’m Jaehwan. Lee Jaehwan.” He extends his hand, which Hongbin shakes in a rather careful way. Hongbin notices there’re some paints smeared in the older guy’s palm, red and green and blue somewhat mixed into one. He certainly glares a bit longer than necessary, because when the guy cackles, it brings Hongbin back to reality.

“Sorry,” Hongbin says again, but now doesn’t immediately let go of his hand until Jaehwan does. There’s an inevitable silence after that, only for a slight, dizzying moment, but it’s enough to have Hongbin blinking and gasping for air. His head pulsating and he silently curses, _Not this shit again_.

“Are you okay?” Jaehwan finally asks as they approach the counter. “I notice that you seem to be out of it today.”

Hongbin raises his eyebrows. “You’ve been noticing me? The whole day?”

Jaehwan blushes furiously. “No—I mean, y-yea, maybe. A little. I don’t know. You just—”

“It’s okay, I’m just messing with you,” Hongbin cuts him off, smiling apologetically in which Jaehwan replies with a wide grin. He waits for a few seconds until the dizziness wears off before he asks, “Now, shall we order our meals?”

“Sure.”

While Jaehwan’s in charge of placing their orders, Hongbin’s mind wanders again. He might’ve not comprehended what just happened well, but he knew that this is not a really good beginning.

He certainly, possibly, _undoubtedly_ , will fail.

Again.

For real this time.

 

●×●

 

Jaehwan can’t resist the urge to take a glance every now and then towards Hongbin’s direction. Sure, he’s engaged with everyone’s conversation and gives comment accordingly without even failing, but a set of eyes as sharp as Taekwoon’s wouldn’t even miss how strange his behavior has been.

“What are you doing? Why do you go back to sit beside me?” Taekwoon hisses, his tone serious. A hint of urgency clouds his words as he mumbles, “I can’t even believe you have the audacity to let him go like that.”

Jaehwan can’t help but frown. He places his fork, now facing Taekwoon. “Is this why you invite them with us? This is supposed to be between our close friends only.” There are about twelve people in their table, six from his department, calling this as their celebration’s ( _private_ ) dinner. And to top it off, it seems that only Jiyeon and that cute guy named Sanghyuk that can mingle with the others. The angry-looked man, Wonshik, is not showing any interest to both his food and the conversation. Hakyeon jabs his meat furiously, though most of them do not even notice. And Hongbin is busy fidgeting for whatever reason. Jaehwan starts to believe that the latter guy is not only nervous or having a fever; he’s worried that his presence would only make things worse.

But, why? Worse from what? Jaehwan cannot yet decipher, but he certainly wants to find out.

“Hongbin-ssi,” he calls out, heart beating so fast when not only Hongbin who turns his head, but others too. Jaehwan clears his throat before continuing, “Have you wandered around this city? I can show you around, if you want.”

Hongbin seems like he snaps back to reality, his eyes widen. He opens his mouth, stammers for a second, before he turns to Hakyeon who stops jabbing the second he heard Jaehwan’s words.

Looking at the gesture, Jaehwan narrows his eyes, his heart clenched. But he quickly flattens his face and places a radiant smile. He wouldn’t want to look as if he’s desperate to get him—wait, does he just _admit_ he’s chasing after Hongbin?

 _God, this can’t be worse_ , Jaehwan muses after not getting any answer. Right when he thinks his attempt is too embarassing to be tried out, a voice from the farthest corner of the table interrupts.

“Is it gonna be tonight? You planning to go with the rest of us, or just the two of you?”

Jaehwan shifts to the voice direction and is now face to face with Wonshik. He can’t say he’s not intimidated, though he’s finally able to say, “Everyone is welcome to join.” Wonshik is about to say something, but Jaehwan diverts his attention to Hongbin again. “So, I suppose it’s your cue to join—oomph!” He lets out a muffled shriek when Taekwoon nudges him a bit harder than necessary.

“Jaehwan just wants to ask whether you wanna come along or not.” Taekwoon takes a quick glance at Hakyeon for a split second, then returning his gaze back to Hongbin, who now nods in agreement. He then says thanks and that Jaehwan would gladly appreciate it.

Jaehwan nudges Taekwoon back, perhaps not as hard as his jab before but enough to make a scene and make everyone laughing in amusement. Jaehwan can’t help but blushing, avoiding Hongbin’s gaze but when their eyes finally meet, he willingly smiles with his flustered expression.


	3. [3] assuage

 

_"How did it get so late so soon?"_

**_\--_ Dr. Seuss**

 

 

The night wears on when they reach the street, buildings after buildings with warm lights enclose on either side of the footstep. It’s wide enough that Hongbin’s sure three giant trucks can fit in, though people are already packing every corner and there also seems to be those who enjoy some cotton candy in the round table with red-and-white umbrella. During those constant observation, Hongbin keeps gaping and closing his mouth, taking in everything cordially.

It’s a bit chilly outside and Hongbin slightly shivers. He notices that he’s already left behind, even Hakyeon now is involved in the chatter within the group. He wonders whether he could make this as an excuse to bail early.

Hongbin sighs, finally decides to stay close with the group. Not everyone joins this sudden tour, anyway. Most of Jaehwan and Taekwoon’s friends chose to pass this time, leaving the two behind. Not that they seem to mind, fortunately.

It’s not long until his gaze catches Jaehwan’s, making the former awkwardness slowly builds up inside him again. He sees Jaehwan smiling in his direction; so he smiles back, rather hesitantly. Hongbin doesn’t say anything when Jaehwan scoots closer to him and balances their pace almost naturally.

“It seems that you’ve grown a liking toward the city,” Jaehwan says, eyes roaming over the street. He sounds like he doesn’t want an answer, but it’s still impolite if Hongbin just keeps silent.

“Yeah,” he pauses, taking a deliberate moment to think, and then he decides to elaborate, “I think it’s been a while since I can enjoy the city. Especially in the late evening like this.” He looks at Jaehwan whose gaze is still lingering to other objects, noticing the wind ruffling his black hair. Though it’s kinda messy now, Hongbin examines it closely amidst the neon and white streetlamps around them. A flash of memories emerge all of a sudden he has to squeeze his eyes shut. He stays like that for a moment, then purses his lips when his eyes flutter open. He can’t help but identify, surreptitiously, _Is this the person? Jaehwan? Did I meet him before?_ He peers into Jaehwan once more, and then sighs.

He dwells upon nothing.

“Hongbin?” Jaehwan handles the other’s elbow, face leans dangerously close as he examines Hongbin’s unsettling state. “Not to be rude or what, but this isn’t the first time you didn’t hear me speaking. Is there something that bothers you? Do you need to take a rest?”

Blinking rapidly, Hongbin takes a glance to the others who stop in front of a nearby boutique. Unfortunately, Hakyeon is busy with Taekwoon—they follow Jiyeon who’s already proceeded inside. So that leaves him with Wonshik and Sanghyuk staring at him. Wonshik, of course, sends him a disapproving look, which furthers his guess that Jaehwan really _is_ that person.

So this visit has its own purpose, after all.

“I—I’m okay,” Hongbin stammers, eyes wavering. He pauses, taking a deep breath before saying his next words. His eyes peeking a glance at Wonshik and Sanghyuk—apparently, the younger has dragged the other to follow Jiyeon’s direction. Hongbin glances back at Jaehwan and continues, “I’m sorry, Jaehwan-ssi. You’re right. I’m supposed to take a rest now. Instead, I... I decided to go out for a while.” A small smile overtaking his face, although it barely hinders his hesitation. Hongbin’s fully aware of what Sanghyuk, his step-sibling, possibly discusses with Wonshik later on. But he hopes that his decision now—to stay with Jaehwan—won’t cause any damage to their respectfully fresh relationship.

“It’s okay.” Jaehwan carresses Hongbin’s arm reassuringly. “I’ll take you home, right now, and I’ll let Taekwoon know to notify the others.” He notices that Hongbin is about to refuse and he immediately adds, “And no, I won’t harm you and I’m quite sure you can defend yourself if it comes to that.”

Hongbin squints a little at how Jaehwan has structured his words, as if he _knows_ something. But he dismisses the thought and nods anyway, hoping to know more despite his head begins throbbing even harder.

 

●×●

 

Jaehwan didn’t really expect that Hongbin would accept his offer. His first reaction is obviously flattered, heart racing furiously, though it only lasts for a second when he notices Hongbin trips and immediately reaches for Jaehwan’s hand so that he won’t lose balance.

So that’s it. Jaehwan embraces Hongbin firmly and holds his hand tight, ignoring his racing heart rather forcefully. He kinda knows his cheeks blushes apple-red, but he suppresses his own nervousness.

He leads them to the big city street where more people are packing the sidewalks. Jaehwan tightens his grip while jostling around a group of business professionals crossing the street, an older man dragging his folding cart dolly—the sound of the wheels grinding the pavements punctuate the noise, and soon, they’re already in front of a building with Jaehwan stopping a taxi.

“Wait.” Hongbin jerks Jaehwan’s sleeve, making the older turn to him. “We can go by bus.”

“No way,” Jaehwan pouts, “we don’t know if there’ll be enough space for you there. Plus, people might stink, and I don’t want you to have some trouble with gaining fresh air.” He scoffs, realizing what he’s just been blabbering. “I—that doesn’t mean I’ve been thinking through all of this. It’s just basic knowledge.” _Stupid Jaehwan_ , he muses, biting his lips, not wanting Hongbin to consider how fool he is.

“Fine,” Hongbin finally mutters, “but I pay. You just make sure I’m okay until we arrive at my house.”

Soon, they settle side by side in the taxi, driving through the city filled with night lights from building and streetlamps they are passing by. Their situation has been awkward, and the undexterous silence only punctuates it even worse.

Involuntarily, Jaehwan becomes self-conscious in no time. His fingers are still interlacing with Hongbin’s. And there’s no sign that either of them would take it off of each other’s any time soon. Jaehwan doesn’t know what Hongbin’s thinking in these frustrating silence, but they keep being quiet until the taxi takes a halt in front of a large house.

Hongbin gives his money to the driver while Jaehwan gets out of the car. A sigh of admiration comes from Jaehwan when he finally stands in front of the building. Rather than just “house”, he would call this as a palace. He hasn’t let his thoughts wander much when Hongbin starts tucking Jaehwan’s sleeve again, leading them to the large terrace illuminated with white lamps. Jaehwan, unconsciously, squeaks a little when a beep sound chimes. He turns his head and spots Hongbin setting his fingerprint to open the front door.

Hongbin looks at Jaehwan and chuckles at his reaction. He keeps their gaze still before he explains, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.” He smiles, showing off his angelic dimples. “Anyway, this is Hakyeon’s hyung house. He really likes such royal and classic décor, so he made his house to his liking.”

A sharp twinge of jealousy breaks through his heart—Jaehwan blinks his eyes in the mixture of confusion and disappointment, not quite sure what’s really happening. “You—you two live together?” If there’s still any much worse reality, Jaehwan wouldn’t know how to define this information.

As a response, Hongbin shakes his head, sending the older to be even more confused: should he be relieved? Happy? Or, even more cautious? Hongbin sure knows how to make people have a severe heart attack.

The younger leads their way to the house, letting Jaehwan in, and finally answers, “I live here with Wonshik and Sanghyuk, too. I—uh, I’m their relatives and they sort of welcome me to live here for a while. So.” Hongbin lets himself slumped in one of his favorite plushy sofa, allowing Jaehwan to sit next to him.

“ _Sort of_?”

“Not in a bad way, it’s just... well, never mind.”

“Okay.” Jaehwan doesn’t push further, now concentrating on Hongbin’s condition. “Do you need something? Should I take your med or—”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Hongbin suddenly clasps the older’s hand again, preventing him to go somewhere else. “Just by being here... soothes me. It’s healing, one way or another.”

Jaehwan frowns, not sure if he understands whatever that statement means. But he stays, as how Hongbin has signaled. It’s been a long day, surprisingly, and Jaehwan knows—risky or not—that this single, exact moment is definitely worth it.

 

●×●

 

Jaehwan sighs in front of his painting. He really wants to change everything about it, from the color to the lines and the half-result he has managed to pull off. He stops when hearing a footstep behind, obviously Taekwoon who now lowers his head and gaze at the younger’s art closely.

“You’re gonna give this to Hongbin as his birthday present or what?” Taekwoon asks, straigtening his back while sipping his fourth cup of coffee. He stays in the same apartment with Jaehwan, since both of them have grown as childhood friends.

“What? Say that again?”

“Hongbin’s birthday?”

“How could you know?”

“You don’t?” Taekwoon chuckles, it sounds relieved though he’s sure Jaehwan can sense his slight mockery in it. “And here I thought you’re the one who should know it first.” He takes a seat across Jaehwan, crossing his legs while resting his back on the couch. “Tell me, Jaehwan-ah, what did you do in Hongbin’s house if not asking for his phone number and get the chance to know him better?”

“I’m not exactly—” Jaehwan pauses, a sigh escapes his lips. “I did ask for that, but he said he doesn’t have a phone.”

“You’re kidding—”

“No. But here’s the weirdest part; he eagerly gave me his hyung’s phone number.” Jaehwan reaches his phone and shows Taekwoon the number. “The more I think about it, the more I can’t decipher what’s exactly going on. It’s as if he’s been controlled by his so-called relatives or something,” Jaehwan turns his head back to his painting, in which Hongbin smiles faintly, his dimples distractingly attractive. Jaehwan’s cheeks turn crimson as the thought creeps in, and of course, Taekwoon _has_ to notice.

Not that Jaehwan can get away in the first place, anyway.

“I don’t know if you can understand this, hyung,” Jaehwan finally speaks, “but isn’t it too fast to... make a move on Hongbin? There’s still a possibility that I might miscalculate my feeling.”

“You can’t overthink feeling, Jaehwan-ah.” Taekwoon finishes his coffee, putting the cup on the table, then reaching the younger’s phone. “You just have to trust your guts. And that being said...” He types in something, and Jaehwan bolts from his place to get his phone back. But Taekwoon is faster and has clicked _send_ before Jaehwan can do anything. “Look, I’ve set an arrangement for you to be able to meet Hongbin again.” He smiles, rather mischievously. “You are welcome,” he adds, in a singsong way.


	4. [4] portend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Hongbin's birthday, and he may or may not be happy with Jaehwan's presence.

 

_“It’s hard being left behind. (…)_

_It’s hard to be the one who stays.”_

**_—_ Audrey Niffenegger, _The Time Traveler’s Wife_**

 

**___________________ **

If Jaehwan’s going to be honest, he doesn’t really mind going back to Hongbin’s place. In fact, he kinda anticipates it—for days now.

What comes not even close to his liking is that, Taekwoon trails behind. The older brings another cup of coffee and slurps so loudly that it irks Jaehwan’s nerves more. Going to Hongbin’s birthday just after they met once, along with a present he made exclusively for him, is one thing. Letting Taekwoon following him like this, is a whole new level.

“Hyung, don’t embarrass me,” Jaehwan pouts, glaring intently, “ _ever_.”

“Oh, c’mon, Jaehwan-ah. It’s more likely that you’re the one who’s gonna embarrass yourself.” Taekwoon smirks, tilting his head playfully to get more irritated reaction from his housemate. “This won’t be that bad.”

Jaehwan doesn’t reply anymore and decides to go straight to the house. He rings the bell and waits for the door to open. There’s a couple of quick steps that follows before the door finally opens. Hakyeon’s face appears and when he sees who comes to their house, a big smile’s immediately plastered on his face.

“Jaehwan-ah! Taekwoon-ah!” Hakyeon says joyfully. “I suppose you’re coming for Hongbin’s birthday?”

Jaehwan only nods until Taekwoon nudges him. He’s startled and then spontaneously speaks, “I-if you don’t mind, I bring Taekwoon _hyung_ along.”

“Of course I don’t.” Hakyeon smiles and looks at Taekwoon intensely. His gaze contemplative, though at the same time Hakyeon just looks normal and friendly. Probably because he’s being the guest house now.

Jaehwan notices this special look, of course. It’s so out of nowhere, but since it seems like none of his business, he decides to brush it off.

After taking off their shoes, Hakyeon leads them inside. The living room is surprisingly bright. Radiant sun shine coming from the window. The wall is covered in white, looking so contrast compared to the dark green couches. A dark transparent table is placed in the middle.

Before Jaehwan could realize it, Hakyeon has already marched inside. The tan skinned man is back not long after, dragging Hongbin beside him. Jaehwan beams at the sight of Hongbin, but it falters once both of them are in the living room. He notices the dark circles under Hongbin’s eyes, and it is evident that Hongbin cannot even open them properly.

 Jaehwan can only think of two possibilities: 1) Hongbin is still drowsy and his current sleep was swift and restful enough, until Hakyeon woke him up forcefully; and 2) he just hadn’t got the time to doze off.

Either way, the brief sight is enough to sink Jaehwan’s heart.

“Jaehwan-ssi.”

Oh, maybe the silence is too unbearable that Hongbin should call him first. But Jaehwan notices that the younger’s eyes become tender and probably even happier. Jaehwan might just be imagining things, but still, if that’s true, he’d be more than feel honored.

“Hongbin,” Jaehwan returns the call, extending one of his hands and offer the respectively gift box. “Happy birthday.”

Hongbin jolts at the sight of the gift. His hands visibly tremble when he receives it from Jaehwan.

This gesture makes Jaehwan even more worried. Does Hongbin think that he has done too much? Shouldn’t he bring the gift, then?

“Jaehwan-ssi,” Hongbin interrupts Jaehwan, smiling charmingly. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

 

●×●

 

The party goes surprisingly well. Sanghyuk, whom Jaehwan later finds the youngest of them all, brings a chocolate cake in a big crystal plate. A blanket of melted dark chocolate drizzles down and covers the cake completely. Fresh blueberries and red cherries are scattered beautifully around it.

There’s no candle, so Jaehwan makes a mental note to ask someone about Hongbin’s age when he has the chance—that, if Hongbin doesn’t mind, actually.

“Hakyeon hyung was the one who had the initiative to bake this!” The guy says cheerfully, putting the plate at the table in such a careful manner. His broad smile stays, showing how much happiness emanating from having the cake only.

However, the contrast between Sanghyuk’s exuberant mode with Wonshik’s irritated gesture is crystal clear. The latter just trails behind Sanghyuk, then stands rigidly, looking nowhere but the ceiling.

Before Wonshik can sense someone is looking at him, Jaehwan averts his gaze and meets Hakyeon’s eyes. The man signals to him to do something, and looking at how everyone is expecting him right now (except Hongbin, he believes), Jaehwan immediately starts to open his mouth. He sings _Happy Birthday_ , coming abruptly at first, but eventually it becomes steady and melodious.

By the time Jaehwan finishes, everyone claps and urges Hongbin to cut a slice of cake. Jaehwan takes a glance at Hongbin’s expression—flushed, but his angelic dimples are evident. It suddenly warms Jaehwan’s heart, somehow, especially since Hongbin is experiencing this moment contentedly.

Little does he know that when Hongbin finally reciprocates his gaze, and offers the first cake to him, all Jaehwan knows is only his racing heart and him remaining speechless.

 

●×●

 

Several minutes before the party, Hongbin kept tossing and turning on his bed. His eyebrows squished together, eyes fluttering shut. Beads of sweat trickling down his temple. An array of memories weighing his dreams. A faint, somewhat familiar voice started to echo.

 _“...faint smile, a white flower in his ear. Hair as blue as the ocean. Who exactly did you paint?”_ There was a slight mockery in the sentence, although it only functioned as a teasing. A tall, pink-haired man sneaked a peek behind his back.... No, not Hongbin’s back, but _his_ back. The person he had been with.

... _is it Jaehwan?_

There was no sign of mirror around him, so Hongbin—inside of the person—turned around and saw Taekwoon, his lips flashing an impish grin. He whistled playfully before stating, _“Our Jaehwanie has made his move, huh?”_

 _Jaehwan,_ Hongbin mused, _so it’s true, this person is Jaehwan_.

Feeling uncomfortable with the position, Hongbin focused himself to look at the dream outside of anyone. He saw the scene clearly now, Jaehwan was sitting as Taekwoon stood beside him.

Jaehwan, pouting ever since Taekwoon intruded his work, snapped back, _“Wh-what move?”_ He just didn’t expect his words would come out as a stutter. _Shit_ , he mused, _stupid brain, don’t you dare_ —

 _“If this is what you’ve got after taking Hongbin home, I’m sure you’ll be even more productive for the rest of the year,”_ Taekwoon said, ignoring the previous question and making Jaehwan pout even more. _“Don’t worry, Jaehwanie, I won’t report your adorable meaningful effort to anyone and keep this as a secret.”_

 _“There’s nothing to hide, hyung.”_ He sighed, rubbing his temples in a frustrated gesture _. “This isn’t supposed to be a surprise, either.”_ He looked at Taekwoon, then averted his eyes to the painting he had made. Yeah, Taekwoon was right. It was Hongbin, smiling at him with his angelic dimples. His eyes tender but at the same time looked a bit worried.

Jaehwan let out a sigh again, putting his paintbrush before turning back to Taekwoon. _“I need a break. It’s only been a day but I feel so burnt out, so overwhelmed.”_

 _“Where are you going?”_ Taekwoon asked. _“Hongbin’s place?”_

 _“As if it would help?”_ Jaehwan narrowed his eyes. His sarcasm sounded a little indignant, but he knew he didn’t mean it as a lash out towards Taekwoon. He looked at the older apologetically, then flashed a faint smile. _“Look, I know that you mean well. You’re… you just want this whole Hongbin-and-I thing to work out, and I appreciate that. It’s just… hard to believe at the moment, I guess?”_ Jaehwan paused as Taekwoon patted his shoulder rather firmly. _“I’ll see what I get, and if what you said earlier proves to be right, that this isn’t even the first time my life revolves around him… then I’ll seek you for an advice. A hundred percent. Deal?”_

There was a moment of silence, only for a split second, before Taekwoon nodded and let Jaehwan go. _“Just don’t—don’t say anything stupid, yeah?”_

 _“I won’t,”_ Jaehwan promised, _“you know me.”_ He then left their dorm, shoulders hunched and lips mumbling something even Taekwoon couldn’t hear.

 

●×●

 

Jaehwan winces. The second his hand brushes with Hongbin’s, a flood of memory he’s not familiar with courses through him. He blinks a few second, trying to rationalize what he has seen. It was so vivid, but vague at the same time. The weirdest part of it, Jaehwan feels like it’s his own memory, and he is sure he has never said that to Taekwoon before.

When Jaehwan catches Hongbin’s eyes, the younger has the same reaction as his. His calm gaze gone, replaced with fear and confusion. Jaehwan wants to ask if he is alright, but Hongbin immediately smiles—it seems forced yet enough to make Jaehwan holds his question back.

“Thank you,” Jaehwan finally manages to say. His head dizzy, particularly because Taekwoon’s words still echo in his mind.

_Don’t say something stupid... like what?_

“What?”

“Huh?”

There was a silent moment between them two, and Jaehwan feels his cheek reddens as everyone stares at him. _Shuck, I said that out loud._ “No,” Jaehwan finally stammers, “I’m just... minding my own business?”

“For God’s sake, Jaehwan, you shouldn’t do that,” Taekwoon mumbles softly but clear enough for everyone to hear. He smirks a little seeing Jaehwan becomes even redder and continue helping Hyuk and the others slicing the cake.

Jaehwan can see amusement plays in Hongbin’s eyes even when the younger doesn’t say anything. He hides his face and pretends to focus on his cake,

When Hongbin finally sits beside him, Hakyeon approaches them and offers a slice of cake before setting his laser eyes to Jaehwan. “Jaehwan-ssi,” he starts, his voice commanding and so loud it’s just hard to ignore, “if you unconsciously tell yourself to behave as if you haven’t done that in your usual day, then how can I trust Hongbin to you?”

“Hyung!” Hongbin’s eyes bulge as he shoves Hakyeon’s hand nervously. The older only gives him an annoyed look—his frowned eyebrows and pouted lips are so evident that Hongbin doesn’t have much to say in this matter. However, Hongbin manages to steal a glance at Jaehwan’s direction and see that the guy is as confused as ever. “I’m sorry, just ignore him, please,” he finally says, in case it gets even more awkward.

When Hakyeon seems like he wants to say more, Hongbin rapidly places his hand in the older’s mouth to shut him, and smiles as sweetly as possible to Jaehwan before grabbing his hand away from the living room, leaving everyone to continue the celebration.

 

●×●

 

“What? What is it?” Hakyeon surely cannot be more demanding than this. Folding his hands, he looks at Hongbin almost menacingly as if those eyes could shatter anything in an instant.

“Hyung, he... he touched me—”

“He what?!”

“Sssh, hyung!” Hongbin tries his best to calm him down, looking behind his back and hoping no one is anywhere near the kitchen. “Our _hands_ touched. It was brief and I think he barely noticed, but I saw some kind of memories...”

“And Jaehwan can see it, too?” Hakyeon whispers now, his voice a bit wavering.

Hongbin has never seen him in a perplexed state before, so he assumes this is pretty bad. He nods, making the older sigh. Showing a mortal his power, in purpose or not, is enough to make them question a lot. Give them enough materials to ponder over. And out of all mortals out there, that person should be Jaehwan.

It’s no longer a secret anymore, and Hongbin knows fully well Jaehwan is whom he loves in his previous reincarnations. The difference now is he also knows fully well how strict Hakyeon wants to protect him. He’s on his side, along with Sanghyuk. But to balance it out, his step mother—Voxara—asks Wonshik to come along with them. To keep an eye on Hongbin and make sure he doesn’t succeed in doing his deed.

Things _surely_ couldn’t get much messier than this.

“Alright.” Hakyeon finally says. “I’ll be honest, Hongbin-ah. I don’t know what to do. So I have to ask, what do _you_ want now?”

Hongbin bites his lower lip for a moment, his heart pounding wildly. There is a deliberate pause before he finally comes up with, “I want to avoid him.”

“Oh?” It seems that the answer surprises Hakyeon even more. “Okay, do whatever floats your boat. But I’m warning you, just because you can control time and spaces, doesn’t mean your destiny—and the whole world as well as the universe—would take it easy on you.”


	5. [5] lacuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A beautiful angel has fallen / but his power is kept frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw some mistakes before, but now I couldn't find it?? Please just ignore it when you come across it, somehow. >,<
> 
> Anyway, thanks to all of you who keeps reading. I'm still figuring things out becouse this starts to go out of the outline, but I wish I could manage finishing it properly.
> 
> Until next time! >3<

_“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing_

_left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it._

_Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying.”_

**—Sarah Dessen, _Just Listen_**

 

* * *

 

 

Jaehwan head is still spinning after his last encounter with Hongbin, but it seems too impossible to ask for help to Taekwoon now. He shifts in his bed, extending his hand to get his phone and see what time it is.

Seven p.m. There’s still two hours before his class starts.

He swings his legs and places a hand at his throbbing skull. He’s not having a hangover, exactly. Last night, the party ended just like that. Hongbin suddenly didn’t come back and only Hakyeon hosting Taekwoon and him for a little bit longer. The other two had gone to other rooms too, not even bothered to bid them goodbye or something.

It was awkward. And alarmingly awful. Never had Jaehwan attended a party so short and weird that it felt as if he weren’t there at all.

Jaehwan finally stands up and heading to his kitchen. There’s a note in the refrigerator, saying that Taekwoon has to go early and that Jaehwan can cook their leftovers using the microwave. He pulls that note from the surface, only to get another tiny paper slips out and falls silently on the floor.

Jaehwan lowers his body to pick it up, suspecting that it would be an additional note from Taekwoon—asking him to buy food or something. However, he gets a poem instead.

It reads: _A beautiful angel has fallen / but his power is kept frozen_

The guy frowns. It’s as obscure as Jaehwan can understand, but as he reads for the second time, a memory flashes through him. Taekwoon saying something in an urgent tone. It’s a code—a secret one—or at least something like that. His head gets fuzzy again and he only gets fractures of what those strange words mean, before it vanishes like a rapid ash, as if it didn’t happen in the first place.

Blinking, Jaehwan tries to clear his vision, and he grabs a nearby chair to steady himself and he sits down. The paper crumpled in his hand. His mind wanders to reach the same memory, he could use any little tiny clue at this point. But he got nothing.

He sighs, rubbing his temple to ease his sudden tension that courses through him. He might not know what to do next yet, although he is now sure what the message mean: the angel is Hongbin, indicating something Jaehwan hasn’t figured out. The power mentioned is probably about his health (considering last night the younger didn’t look quite good), or other power Jaehwan cannot—again—decipher. When he finally calms down and has gulped two glasses of water, he stands up abruptly. He needs to meet Hongbin, soon.

 

* * *

 

 

“Shit,” Jaehwan mutters, looking at his phone screen incredulously. An operator keeps saying how the number he’s currently reaching is not available, and this has been his nineteenth time calling with half desperation and half hope.

Jaehwan originally planned to call Hakyeon’s number later after his classes are dismissed, but one of his professors couldn’t make it today so he and his classmates got out and now he’s waiting for Taekwoon in the cafeteria to discuss this matter. When the call is answered by another operator’s voice, Jaehwan scoffs. This Hakyeon is playing hard to get, even when he doesn’t necessarily intend to hit on him.

Huffing with a _little_ rage, Jaehwan finally searches for Taekwoon’s number. He furiously types another message, saying that it’s better for the older to contact Hakyeon instead. There’s nothing Jaehwan can offer that might pick Hakyeon’s interest, and it’s evident enough to him—and everyone who can sense tension and feelings and stuffs—that Hakyeon is kinda interested with his hyung.

And so, Jaehwan hits send along with Hakyeon’s contact for Taekwoon to call.

 

* * *

 

 

Hongbin rarely gets an anxious vibe emanating from Hakyeon, especially since the man is always vibrant and cheerful. Not that Hakyeon couldn’t get sad. He has learned a lot about these gods and goddesses—Hongbin’s biological mother often told him stories when he was still a kid, no matter it was a day or night. When he met Hakyeon for the first time, he could recognize that he is Nione—Hakyeon was obviously pleased with that fact and has been treating the younger nicely. No one dares to mention how his name was not as popular as the other deities. And Hongbin guesses that this is one of those time when Hakyeon doesn’t even bother covering his panic state.

The older keeps pacing back and forth, his phone in his hand. One time when Sanghyuk notices them in the living room like that, he tried to snatch the thing from Hakyeon just to see his reaction. Sanghyuk finally stopped when Hakyeon really got irritated and threw his wrath at him, so the young god scurried away without any second thought.

“What’s wrong?” Hongbin asks, not for the first time indeed, and it is no surprise that no reply comes from the man’s lips. Hongbin makes it clear that he wouldn’t leave the place until Hakyeon told him. Thus he keeps staring and following Hakyeon’s movement for a little bit longer, until the man snaps his head to his direction with a worried look—although soon it becomes a thoughtful one—before he approaches Hongbin and sits closely next to him.

“Promise me you won’t laugh,” Hakyeon starts, which got the younger taken aback.

“I won’t,” Hongbin replies, keeping his face cool.

“You will.” Hakyeon huffs.

“No, hyung. Trust me. You can tell me anything,” he elaborates, carefully, until Hakyeon relaxes and prepares himself to speak.

“So that human Taekwoon texted me earlier...” he trails off, biting his lips. His eyes wavering, looking at Hongbin before turning it away as deep scarlet crimson covers his cheeks. Hongbin kinda knows where this is going, but again, he keeps his cool and just patiently waiting. “And... and I kinda say yes? Suddenly we have a date? I don’t know, I’m confused, I shouldn’t be doing this, right?”

“Hyung, calm down,” Hongbin interrupts, placing his hands on Hakyeon’s shoulder. He forces the older to look him in the eye, and he continues, “Breath in, nicely. Slowly. Yes, like that.” After Hakyeon has relaxed once again, Hongbin asks, “What did the text say? Does he explicitly ask you out or something?”

“I—” Hakyeon couldn’t explain, so he shows his chat with Taekwoon, who asks if he got free time and if they could meet. Although, when Hongbin wanted to scroll more, Hakyeon snatched away his phone so Hongbin takes it as a cue not to investigate any further.

However, Hongbin’s curiosity has been picked and he wants to know more. So, again, he braces himself to ask, “What did you say after that?”

“Something around _I don’t want to go out with you_.” There’s a slight indignation in his tone, yet the man’s blush stays and there’s no sign it would leave in the nearby future.

“And?”

“He said he doesn’t mind having a date as attractive as me.”

Hongbin cannot help but chuckle.

“I told you not to laugh!”

“I’m sorry, hyung, but he may or may not take your reply as a direct flirting,” Hongbin explains, immediately placing his hand over his mouth to hold back his laughter. If he got scolded as bad as Sanghyuk did, he would definitely be a dead meat.

“I’m not flirting with him,” Hakyeon still defends himself.

“I know. But I’m gonna say to take his offer and clear whatever’s been going on between you two.” Hongbin smiles, hoping his suggestion doesn’t come off as an obnoxious order or something.

“There’s nothing going on between me and him!” Hakyeon’s voice raises a little and it’s clear he would defend himself and his relationship all day if the person he’s talking to has a time all day. “Why do people keep assuming we have... something?”

“No one does, hyung, really. But sure, suit yourself. If you go, I can tell you that you’ll get nothing to lose.”

 

* * *

 

 

Taekwoon didn’t expect Hakyeon to actually reply his text, looking at the tragic attempt Jaehwan has conducted that came to no avail. He also didn’t expect that Hakyeon would actually agree to meet him, even when he’s still not sure what he should do or what he could dig from Hakyeon to help Hongbin and Jaehwan with their sort of urgent business.

It’s the next day after he texted Hakyeon. Taekwoon asks the older to meet him after his classes and says that he’d like to show him around his campus and their famous art gallery that gains a lot of visitors each year it holds an exhibition. He can only hope Hakyeon would like his plan, as Taekwoon doesn’t want to come off as too forward nor aggressive.

The man has already been in the gallery when Taekwoon arrives. Unlike before, Hakyeon now sits on a bench in front of the same painting—the mythical gods they have watched together before—among the other artworks. Without saying anything, Taekwoon walks leisurely and just sits beside him.

“Don’t think of this as a date,” Hakyeon mumbles out of the blue.

Taekwoon chuckles at that.

“I’m serious!”

“And that’s what you’re mostly worried about?” Taekwoon teases, getting a death glare from Hakyeon in return. Clearly this is just a distraction from what he’s about to say, right?

For a little while, they fall into an inevitable silence. Then, Taekwoon asks, quietly, “Tell me, hyung. By watching that painting, and the one next to it, what do they remind you of me?”

 

* * *

 

 

The question is enough to make Hakyeon startles, but he somehow manages to compose his cool.

This isn’t even unpredictable. There are so many things Hakyeon should be worried about when meeting Taekwoon. The latter might not realize it yet, but Hakyeon _does_ remember. He knows who Taekwoon is the moment they came across each other in that gallery several days ago. Hakyeon would always recognize that face, and even when he had prepared himself for time like this to happen, he’s still not ready.

So, without dragging this even further, Hakyeon simply answers, “You’re Leo’s descendant. He’s your ancestor. He used to be with the mythical gods, goddesses, and other deities, learning what he should learn.” _I may or may not be meeting him, thousands of years ago,_ Hakyeon muses, but keeping his mouth shut. He doesn’t have to share that thing yet.

Taekwoon falls silent upon hearing that. He even looks confused. He sounds hesitant when he finally asks, “That’s... it?”

Hakyeon frowns. What else does the younger want to hear? “Yeah,” he says,  a low grunt evident in his voice, “what am I supposed to say? That _we_ have met before this?”

Taekwoon almost opens his mouth, but closes it again as some people pass them by. Once he makes sure no one is nearby to eavesdrop, he continues, “You don’t remember?”

Now Hakyeon grits his teeth. Blood rushing through his veins. His voice comes off as a hiss when he says, “Remember what? Don’t pull this cheap trick to get me into thinking that we’ve known each other all along.”

“But we do—” Taekwoon stops mid-sentence before realizing that Hakyeon is not joking. The man with the striped-green hair gazing him with clear indignation. Hands crossed in front of his chest. Taekwoon gulps, noting to himself that the time has come—only much earlier than he originally expected.

“Hyung,” he starts, not wanting to scare Hakyeon more than he probably had, “how many times do you think Hongbin have been reincarnated?”

Hakyeon blinks, his mouth dropped open. “You—where did you know—”

Grabbing Hakyeon’s arm, Taekwoon cuts the older off, “We probably need some safer place to talk about this.”


	6. [6] difference

## 

_“Time heals all wounds. But not this one. Not yet.”_

—Marie Lu

* * *

 

 

Call Jaehwan retarded or ridiculous or taking too much risk or whatever, but he didn’t necessarily plan to wait for Taekwoon more than he can bear. It’s been three hours since Taekwoon goes out with Hakyeon, and Jaehwan got zero clue of what actually happens to Hongbin. And, to think of it, Taekwoon didn’t say much about their plan (which is supposed to be plotted together).

 _Shit,_ he mutters, tapping his foot amidst passengers who take the same bus as him. His mind races as the transportation comes. And, while cursing at Taekwoon for whatever he’s doing right now, he steps forward and takes the bus he has waited.

 _I swear to God if Taekwoon somehow manages to charm Hakyeon and forget my request altogether, I’ll buy him our food for the whole month,_ Jaehwan muses, while still silently debating whether he should go to Hongbin’s place even when there is so much uncertainty.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hongbin,” Hakyeon calls as he arrives at his house. His eyes search for the younger frantically until they land on Sanghyuk who’s been munching on yesterday’s cake leftover, eyes following Hakyeon’s movement before he grins rather sheepishly.

Hakyeon is too worried to care about what Sanghyuk is up to, but he strolls over and asks the younger when they’re already face to face. “Is that _my_ slice of cake?”

Sanghyuk gulps before he nods and mutters a quite “yes”.

At that response, Hakyeon narrows his eyes. “Shouldn’t you ask permission before stealing it?”

“Hyung, you’ve gone all day and we all assume you must have eaten somehow. Besides, it’s not like you’re lack of money to buy another one,” Sanghyuk says quickly before bolting to the opposite direction, leaving Hakyeon alone in the kitchen.

Well, that boy is right, but that doesn’t make what he did justifiable. Hakyeon shrugs to himself than proceeds to search for Hongbin—although he doesn’t know how to process what Taekwoon has told him and if Hongbin has known about it all along.

Hakyeon finds the latter in his room, lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. To the eyes of mortals, Hongbin’s room would look pretty normal. A bed enough for two people, some hints of body spray from Hongbin’s direction, a laptop in the desk playing some ballad songs, and some empty packages of spicy snacks scattered around it.

However, Hakyeon can feel how time seems to sway and slow down around them. Suddenly, everything feels more detailed than usual. The tick in the clock. The dust in the air. His own breath, moving steadily. The time warp envelopes the atmosphere warmly, but there is a slight horror to it, a hidden fear Hongbin hasn’t yet revealed to anyone. Hakyeon couldn’t stop this, but at least he can start talking from there.

“You can save your energy and stop exhausting yourself like this.” Hakyeon sits besides Hongbin abruptly, causing the bed to creak and bound a little.

Hongbin’s eyelids flicker before opening slowly. A beat of silence passes before he answers, “I would be more exhausted if I didn’t do that.” He pushes himself to sit straight, looking the older in the eye. “Hyung, it’s been unstoppable. The memories keep coming back. I can’t stand letting...” He hesitates, biting his lower lip, before a he lets out a sigh and continue, “I can’t stand letting Jaehwan know. Not more than what he has seen.”

Hakyeon doesn’t say anything at first, but he finally advises, “If you’re sure he’s your partner all this long, you should tell him.”

Hongbin frowns. “Why?” It’s not like Hakyeon hasn’t warned him about being careful around mortals before. “This is not like you—”

“Hongbin-ah, do you remember?” Hakyeon interrupts. The air is suddenly thick with tension. He scrunches his nose, his hands fidgeting, and he feels as if his throat starts closing up. “How many times you’ve been reincarnated?”

“Yes.” Hongbin nods, shortly, still clueless of where this conversation goes. “This is the twenty ninth,” he adds, his voice suddenly careful. He studies Hakyeon’s expression, lowering his voice as he leans closer to whisper, “You always ask me to stay quiet unless I want Wonshik to know whatever it is we talk about.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be nice,” Hakyeon agrees, “but Taekwoon and I have a plan. And like it or not, your time is not long.” There is a pause between them. Hakyeon looking expectantly at Hongbin, before realization struck him. “You know, don’t you?”

“...It’s always been like that, Hyung,” Hongbin confesses, eyes now wavering, away from Hakyeon’s intense gaze. “This time is no different.”

 

* * *

 

 

It dawns on Hongbin that he’s literally chased by the time. And, deep down inside his gut, he still disagrees with Hakyeon’s decision to make him meet Jaehwan again. Yet, he’s preparing himself, anyway.

It’s 9 a.m. in the morning, and the breeze of autumn wind rushes through his hair. Hongbin’s wearing his favorite dark blue sweatshirt, his bang falls on his forehead, light blue against the sun rays. He waits for Jaehwan in Hakyeon’s greenhouse.

Hakyeon’s greenhouse on earth is not as complex and advanced as the ones he has in The Half Corona, one of the most powerful quasars surrounding a massive black hole in which the deities live. While the first one is equipped with gold, metal, and other tools to create celestial plants, the latter is far more simple. Rows of structures made of glass are filled with strawberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, cauliflower, garlic, and other types that are basically edible. Some of their leaves are lifeless, and Hongbin always helps cut them out and takes them back in time to make them grow as freshly as before. Other times, he uses his power to guide the plants’ growth so that it won’t die soon, or simply to make them produce more fruits than usual.

Hongbin will always say that he’s one of the staffs who takes care of Hakyeon’s main greenhouse, while the commercial ones are being taken care of by other staffs. He looks around before entering the building. They picked this place because this is one of the places he first met with Jaehwan during Hongbin’s early reincarnations. He was picking cucumbers at that time, fully ripe, about to bring them to their house when Jaehwan grinned at him beside the door, eyes full of confidence but also tinted with teasing. Jaehwan didn’t say anything and when Hongbin asked what was up with him, the other simply answered, _“You. On my mind. It was so natural I almost believe I got enchanted.”_

As much as Hongbin wants to avoid that guy, he can’t deny the warmth seeping through his heart. A small, desperate smile crosses his face. Remembering that part of his life making him enough to wonder what would the older’s gonna say today. He recalled how he couldn’t reply anything at that time. If he could even produce a single sound, he would most likely stutter.

Hongbin’s got back to reality and now watering some of the plants that are overheating—at least, according to Hakyeon. The man said that while they had breakfast this morning, his eyes glaring with burning hostility towards Wonshik. After all, Wonshik is the God of the Underworld, and in their realm, he rules the massive black hole where mortals spirits are sent there after death. If the black hole gives enough power for the quasar around it, a little bit of his energy is brought here and accidentaly turning the greenhouse’s temperature hotter. When Wonshik protested, Hakyeon said it’s possible because his room is near that place, and apparently their bickering lasts until now.

Hongbin’s thought is interrupted when there’s a knock on the door. He turns. His eyes blinking. Cheeks suddenly flustered. Tongue tied at a loss for words.

Jaehwan is standing there, waving his hand while flashing a sheepish, flawless smile. He has a different appearance from the last time Hongbin had met him. The older lets his jacket hanging loose on his shoulder, exposing the T-shirt underneath in a more than mesmerizing way. His hair is curled, unruly yet styled impeccably. It was as if Jaehwan had dressed up for their first date or something.

Not that Hongbin minds, but it would certainly be like his deepest, well-packaged dream becoming true in the cheesiest way he could come up with.

“Quite jaw-dropping, huh, what you’re currently watching?”

Hongbin abruptly snaps back to reality at the cocky—yet tinted with cuteness—tone from the older. “I—” He wants to say something, but nothing comes out, so he shuts his mouth and lets Jaehwan scoot closer to him.

When they’re just inches apart, and Hongbin can feel Jaehwan’s breath searing on his face, a rapid tightness rises in his throat. He gulps, his heartbeat quickens. His thought begins to race swiftly into panic when Jaehwan’s distant voice suddenly cuts off.

 _“I miss you. So bad._ ”

Hongbin lets out a gasp before taking a step back. Confusion is evident in his face. He looks at Jaehwan, bewildered. He opens his mouth, reluctance overbearing his mind. “I... did you say something?”

The older frowns, pouting. Probably he thinks that Hongbin has changed the subject on purpose to kill the mood. Which means, he didn’t hear what he heard.

And it can be good.

“S-sorry, Jaehwan-ssi.” Hongbin presses his lips, eyes away from Jaehwan. “But maybe you’re not supposed to be here.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hongbin-ah,” Jaehwan calls carefully, reaching his hand to touch Hongbin, only to feel a strike of memory flooding his head again. He is about to speak when he’s suddenly not in the greenhouse anymore. His stomach flips, he’s in the middle of an endless darkness, gray substance spiralling around him. Faces come and go, muffled and high-pitched voices fight for dominance. It’s dizzying as hell, and Jaehwan closes his eyes while covering his ears with both hands. However, words start echoing, loud and faint and loud and faint. Who is speaking, what they are discussing, does not matter anymore. It makes no sense and Jaehwan can only catch a glimpse of it.

_“For some reason, I’m attracted to you.”_

_“Don’t you regret this?”_

_“This is all I ever want—”_

_“I know this seems hard right now. But if we don’t figure things out—”_

_“Hongbin, I can’t let you die—”_

 

“Jaehwan.” Hongbin’s voice brings the older back to reality. He looks startled, and he certainly can’t believe this thing happens again. If it keeps happening, Jaehwan would soon learn that what they have had was nothing near normal. And, if they can see pieces of the past, who knows next time it would be the future.

So, Hongbin lets go of his grasp and extends his hand to Jaehwan’s head, aiming to wipe his memory completely, something he should’ve done since before. But, he feels a very strong energy coming out of his power. The world around them sways and swivles. And the last thing Hongbin sees is Jaehwan’s reaching him, circling his hands around Hongbin’s waist and holding him tight....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I just wanna say that I really have fun writing this even when the plot seems to go all over the place??? I'll make sure I finish the whole story first and fix whatever it is needed to be fixed later on. Thank you so much for reading this far! ^3^


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